” Did you hear about the man who loved his wife so much he almost told her? ” A Prairie Home Companion Best Jokes of 2003

Up here in Minnesota folks may not be best described as effusive, however there are couples everywhere who could benefit by increasing their appreciation for each other -first in thought and then in action.

Valentine’s Day calls people to appreciate their spouses or romantic partners. Valentine’s Day calls people to think more about their partner and make sure their love is known. This may be accomplished through flowers, a romantic date, a heartfelt card or countless other ways.  Valentine’s Day calls us to stop and dedicate time to appreciating our partners. This is a great idea, an idea which if practiced daily may help a relationship last.

You can make everyday Valentine’s Day with this 2 step process:

a) THINK about one positive trait of your partner

b) ACT in a way that demonstrates the appreciation you feel

To do this you simply need to take a moment and  think of a reason you appreciate your partner. After the first date it is easy to come up with someone’s shortcomings, but in the long run it is much more important to remember their assets. ( Assuming you are hoping to continue dating, remain married etc… )  So, once you have come up with one ( or more ) things you appreciate about your partner you can begin to think of an action to demonstrate this. While thinking good thoughts about one’s partner is important, it falls short if the other person has no idea that you feel this way.  There are many ways to show appreciation. Sometimes it is by doing something  you would not ordinarily do if you lived alone  ie: putting a dish in the dishwasher instead of leaving it in the sink or turning off the tv during dinner. Sometimes it is by remembering to say out loud that you care and are proud to be their partner. It could be just stopping what you are doing when they walk through the door to greet them. It does not have to be something expensive, time consuming or extravagant. It is the small acts  of affection which, when practiced daily,  help to sustain and nourish a healthy partnership.

I am glad that we have a day which calls us to celebrate partnerships. I would like to invite you to bring Valentine’s Day into your life everyday by appreciating, and acting on the love you have for each other. If you do this you will be making every day Valentine’s Day and increasing the likelihood of a loving and lasting partnership.

If you or someone you know is looking for a therapist in the Twin Cities area please call Trisha Falvey, MA. LMFT