When I moved my office to Edina, MN a friend joked that Edina is really an acronym for Every Day I Need Attention. She even played me a song, a spin off of the 80’s Moon Unit Zappa hit “Valley Girl”, that explained it. While it may be a humorous song, I don’t think residents of Edina need more attention than other human beings. All human beings need attention, that is simply part of being human. The same is true for our relationships. When we pay attention to and nurture our relationships daily they flourish and are more likely to last.
Giving our relationships daily attention is often easier said than done. Perhaps it is too many Disney movies when we are young which end with ” Happily Ever After ” without any explanation. It is as if “Happily Ever After” is something that just happens. This is simply not true and it is disservice to promote this myth. If we do not tend to our gardens they die. If we do not give our cars tune ups they break down, sometimes beyond repair. Relationships are no different.
Giving attention to your relationship every day is a good habit to have. It can be as simple as 15 minutes together in the morning, or asking a question about your partner’s day and listening as intently as you did on your first date. It could be spending time together without electronics or a massage before bed. It doesn’t have to take a long time or a lot of special planning – it is simply some intentional time or action with a focus on your relationship.
If you give your relationship attention every day then connection increases and loving feelings are more likely to last. If your relationship could speak you would hear it saying, ” E.D.I.N.A.! ” .
If you are looking for a Marriage and Family Therapist in the Twin Cities please feel free to contact Trisha Falvey, M.A., LMFT