[ Trisha’s Blog ]

5 Reasons not to miss the Pride Family Picnic

June is Pride month for the GLB and/or T communities. There are many wonderful events taking place but my favorite each year is the Pride Family Picnic. While there are many reasons to go to this awesome event here are the top 5 reasons not to miss the 2014 Pride Family Picnic.

1) It is FREE. That is right, you heard me, FREE! All food and beverages and entertainment for children are provided at no cost to you! On June 22, 2014 the old adage is proved untrue – There IS such thing as a free lunch!

2) Increase family pride and resiliency in our children. Research has shown that our children benefit from being in supportive environments and seeing families similar to their own.

3) It is an alcohol free event. Research completed by the Rainbow Health Initiative found that 25% of people in the GLBT communities have experienced a problem with alcohol or other drugs. For those who have decided to live without using alcohol or other drugs this event is a welcoming and safe place for you!

4) See your friends you haven’t seen all winter because it was simply too cold to go out! If you are new to the communities the picnic is a place to meet new friends because it is such a friendly environment. If you are new to the community and are nervous about going alone, why don’t you volunteer to help? It is a great way to meet new people and to pitch in and insure the event is a success.

5) Fun. That is right, the picnic is simply a good time. There is great food, fun activities and a friendly crowd who is either GLB and/or T or thinks that GLBT folks are great. What is not to love about that?

Hope you can make it to the Pride Family Picnic at Midway Stadium this Sunday, June 22,2014 from 11-1.

Note from the editor: This list was not written to be all inclusive and may not reflect the top 5 reasons you love the Pride Family Picnic. The writer wants to insure you that she understands that there are MANY more great reasons to not miss the picnic and that your reasons are just as valid as hers.

National Infertility Awareness Week

A recent study concluded that 1 in 6 couples in the USA have or will experience infertility.  There are medical parameters for the diagnosis, however, the emotional roller coaster usually begins even before medical care is sought. Before people speak to their doctor they have probably already experienced the surprise, disappointment and then finally the despair that they are not conceiving. While the number of people going through infertility currently is astronomical, the diagnosis often feels like you may be the only one. If you are struggling with infertility, you most likely don’t need an awareness week to remind you. However, it is my hope that a week such as this increases everyone’s awareness of the prevalence of conception difficulties, the toll they may take emotionally, and where support may be found.

When I look back at our journey to family creation I found support in some unexpected ways. I was sitting in a fertility clinic when my first name was called and two of us stood up. It turned out she was the first to be seen, but when I saw them at a conference the next month, we began a friendship which sustained us through the long, but what felt like endless, road ahead. Having someone to talk with who was going through fertility concerns at the same time meant so much. She understood the ups, the downs, the excitement, the disappointment and starting it all over again and again and again… She knew words, procedures, emotions and resources which are specific to the inability to conceive or to carry a pregnancy to term. She knew, what I knew, which was that there is something inside which helps us go on and keep trying or which tells us enough. No one else can say that for you, so we didn’t try. We simply accepted, empathized and cheered for each other on the journey. If you are experiencing difficulties with fertility I hope you find this sort of support as well. Two women in the Twin Cities area who offer support group opportunities are Jeanette Truchsess Ph.D and Nicole Lange. Another excellent source of information and support is Resolve The National Infertility Association.

There were also countless others who continued to support us, even when some may have thought we should give up. The cards, and sweet gifts given to cheer us on meant so much. During this week, I encourage all those experiencing fertility concerns to reach out for support and connect with others who are going through similar struggles. I encourage those of you who have friends or family members experiencing infertility to reach out to them and let them know you want to encourage and support them as they create their family. While it may feel difficult to bring up something considered so personal, if they have told you about their struggle I hope you will overcome your discomfort to let them know you are still thinking about them. Your support can mean so much!

This week is National Infertility Awareness week sponsored by Resolve. I am grateful for the work of Resolve, an organization which raises awareness on a National level and reassures all people struggling with conception and pregnancy that they are not alone.

If you are looking for a Counselor in the Twin Cities area please contact Trisha Falvey, MA, LMFT

Before You say “I Do”

There are many ways couples prepare for a wedding. Some send invitations, order a cake and hire a band. Others plan a ceremony on the beach or in the mountains. There is nothing wrong with planning and going all out for your wedding day. I myself can not resist an occasional episode of the TLC show Platinum Weddings. My only hope is that couples spend at least as much time planning their marriage.

My hope is that people have tools to help them weather all the phases of marriage – from the stressors of planning a wedding to job changes, moving or other life changing events that occur unexpectedly. Is your relationship solid enough to withstand crises, loss and everyday stressors? When you are married long enough all of these things occur and if the relationship isn’t strong and tended to, these stressors may eventually weaken the bond of marriage.

Committing to spending your life with another person is a big deal – and many, some would say most, days are about compromise and generosity as opposed to the fantasy of happily ever after. Premarital counseling offers a couple a chance to plan how they will handle stressors and work to insure that communication, curiosity and kindness remain alive.

The State of Minnesota is aware of the research about premarital counseling and it’s contribution to lasting marriages. Consequently they offer a $75 discount on Marriage licenses couples complete a program which meets state standards.

If you are looking for a counselor for premarital counseling in the Twin Cities area please contact Trisha Falvey,LMFT

A Martin Luther King Jr. Day Quiz

Q: Who answered the phone many times to hear death threats directed at her husband?

Q: Who encouraged and supported her husband, knowing the danger to the entire family, because of her strong belief in equality and justice?

Q: Who cared for 4 children, the youngest of whom was a few weeks old, while her husband was in a jail in Birmingham?

Q: Who had to tell her five year old daughter that the next time she would see her father he would be in a casket and not be speaking?

Q: Who spoke out for the rights of all minorities, including women and gay and lesbian people?

Q: Who founded the Martin Luther King Jr. Center for Nonviolent Social Change located in Atlanta GA?

Q: Who was the major force behind making Martin Luther King Jr day a national holiday?

A: Coretta Scott King

This post is dedicated to the spouses of all the heroes; to those who support and encourage them so that they may go and change the world.

Postpartum Mood Disorders: The Most Common Complication of Childbirth

While many women experience heightened emotions during pregnancy or after their children are born, 1 out of 8 women experience something more severe. 1 out of 8 women in the US experience symptoms of Postpartum Depression or Anxiety. This is more common than most of us realize, and the myths that surround motherhood can leave women feeling guilty and unable to reach out for help when experiencing postpartum depression or anxiety. Myths such as mothering is innate and you will just know what to do are ridiculous. Anyone who has installed a child safety seat or opened a stroller knows this, and yet this myth continues. While many may feel an innate bond to their child, knowing how to care for one or possessing the skills and knowledge to care for one are not . Another myth out there is that Mothering is easy. Not so! See above reference to car seats…Seriously, there is nothing easy about embarking on the largest learning curve of your life, all while absolutely everything about your life has changed. There are changes in sleep and schedules, but harder to maneuver are the changes in relationships. Partnerships and friendships often change after children. It is not certain how much these myths increase the occurrence of Postpartum mood disorders, however I believe they contribute to women feeling more isolated and embarrassed to ask for help when they are experiencing them.
This post is meant to offer encouragement and support to those who have experienced Postpartum Depression or anxiety now, or in the past. There is a wealth of support for you, and with 1 out of 8 women experiencing something similar you are definitely not alone! I am also hoping to educate all of us about what seems to be epidemic, and yet rarely spoken about. The more we know, the more we can be helpful to family and friends who suffer with Postpartum Mood Disorders. I will be continuing posts to educate all of us on this pressing issue which affects the health of so many families.

For more information or support contact Postpartum Support International or locally in Minnesota Pregnancy and Postpartum Support Minnesota

If you are looking for a counselor in the Twin Cities area please feel free to contact Trisha Falvey,LMFT