Trisha’s Blog:
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day 2013
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day 2013
“Almost always, the creative dedicated minority has made the world better.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Dr. King would have been 84 this year. During his 39 years on earth he led a nonviolent movement that worked toward justice for all people. Today I am grateful for his courage and leadership and for all people who work for peace and justice everywhere – in the world, in our neighborhoods and in our homes. Thank you…
If there is to be peace in the world,
There must be peace in the nations.
If there is to be peace in the nations,
There must be peace in the cities.
If there is to be peace in the cities,
There must be peace between neighbors.
If there is to be peace between neighbors,
There must be peace in the home.
If there is to be peace in the home,
There must be peace in the heart. Laozi
May we continue to move toward peace in our world, nations, cities, neighborhoods, homes and hearts.
Trisha Falvey, MA, LAMFT
Infertility Support
There is nothing easy about infertility. There is hope and then disappointment, hope and then disappointment over and over again. A diagnosis of infertility may bring up emotions such as fear, sadness, anger, frustration and loneliness. While these emotions are normal the emotional roller coaster can be very difficult to manage without support and even the strongest couples may have a hard time communicating what they are feeling most deeply in a healthy way. The advent of new technologies may offer possibilities but they open the door for decisions most couples never thought they would have to make. There are many factors to consider when faced with an infertility diagnosis. Emotions need to be to be expressed freely as well as practical concerns about time, finances and options available. Many couples struggle to express themselves during this very difficult and painful time. Each has concerns about hurting the other or worry that they may not agree on what is the next right step for them. Sometimes meeting with a counselor who will help faciliate these discussions can be very helpful.
If you are facing a diagnosis of infertility, you will be making decisions today which may affect your life tomorrow. They may be the most personal decisions you will ever make and no one else will live with them for the rest of your lives but you. You deserve the time and space to discuss all options in a supportive environment where each person’s voice and wishes are heard. If I can be helpful to you on this journey please contact me to set up an appointment. Weekend appointments are available.
Make a Snow Day a S-L-O-W Day
There are many reasons I loved living in Maryland. One of the main reasons was the way they responded to snow out there – which was to STOP EVERYTHING! When the snow fell, the city stopped – for days. I remember showing up for work, in an office of 200 and four of us were there – me, two people from Pittsburgh, and the head of the office who wondered why we were there during a snow storm. It was in Maryland that I learned about the real wonder of snow and the possibilities it affords. Our coworkers were safe at home; some enjoying a day of solitude and some enjoying a day with their families and partners. They were given an unexpected day off from the stressors of living in a fast paced world. Perhaps they were walking in the quiet that snow provides, maybe they were making memories with their kids or perhaps they were simply snuggled in the warmth of their homes. It is hard to know exactly what they were doing however I am pretty sure what they weren’t doing – missing work, errands, or the frenzied pace that seems to fill our days.
I realize there is a certain pride in Minnesota in regards to driving, regardless of weather. I am not a tow truck driver nor a doctor so I will not comment on the safety of this practice. However, as a therapist I believe we have something to learn from the folks in Maryland. In our attempt to forge ahead, regardless of weather conditions we may be missing out on a chance to slow down and connect with ourselves and each other. I encourage you accept the gift of a heavy snow fall and stay home, slow down and give yourself a day of freedom – a gift from Mother Nature herself!
In closing I would like to include a quote about snow by author Rachel Cohn:
“I love snow for the same reason I love Christmas. It brought people together while time stood still…No one seemed to be in a rush to experience anything other than the glory of the day, with each other, whenever and however it happened.”
What a wise statement, written by an author ( who just so happened to grow up in Maryland! )
If you are looking for a therapist in the Twin Cities area please feel free to contact Trisha Falvey, MA, LAMFT
The Gratitude Game – The Game Where Everyone Wins!
November is Gratitude month in some communities. Gratitude has been shown to increase feelings of happiness and boost emotional and physical health. The Gratitude Game is a great, fun way to increase the gratitude you feel. Here are the rules:
Each player has 2 minutes to write down as many things as possible that make him/her feel grateful. Some examples might be: Music, The sun, My Grandmother’s smile, finding a parking spot close to the store… anything goes!!! If you are grateful for it – write it down.
The game may be played alone or with others. It can be great for whole families – or you can play on your own to increase your personal best.
At the end of two minutes players read their lists aloud. Each entry receives one point – All entries are counted as only you can say if it is something that makes you feel grateful.
The player with the most points wins the game. The best part is though, that at the end of the game everyone will most likely feel their spirits elevated. The only way to really lose the Gratitude Game is to never play it!
Enjoy!
If you are looking for a Family Therapist in the Twin Cities area please contact Trisha Falvey, MA, LAMFT
3 Ways to Get the New School Year Off to a Great Start!
The beginning of a school year holds such excitement and promise. A new start is ahead and nothing seems impossible. This is a great time to start a new back to school tradition with your family. Here are three ways some people have chosen to welcome in the new school year.
1) Have a special back to school dinner where goals are verbalized and written down by the family secretary. Each family member can then be held accountable and help each other work toward goals. Hang the goals up where you can see them if everyone feels comfortable doing so.
2) Commit to (at least ) 3 family meals a week. Research has shown this to be beneficial to children’s academic progress and emotional health as well. If you can not orchestrate 3 dinners, try breakfasts or lunch on weekends. There may be some families who simply can not orchestrate family meals due to work or activities. If this is the case for you, perhaps you could have evening snack or walk together. The point is for everyone to be together and share and have a chance to be heard. ( These rituals become especially important during the teen years when the tendency may be to isolate in one’s room )
3) Verbalize expectations about more than academics. The beginning of the school year is a great time to introduce new rules or freedoms for a child. The messages being sent to youth through media or peers may not be congruent with your expectations or values. Make sure communication goes both ways, and that your child clearly knows what you hope for and expect in regards to friendships, respect for self and others and dating.
You have filled their backpacks and closets with back to school gear. You have gone over class schedules to see how their minds will grow. I encourage you now to utilize these three tips to fill their hearts and minds with the knowledge that while growing up may be hard – they are not alone. Here is wishing all of you growth of mind, body and heart in the upcoming school year!
If you are looking for a Family Therapist in the Twin Cities area please contact Trisha Falvey, MA, LAMFT